There are a lot of really disheartening things that come with my birth story. I very well may never experience pregnancy again, will never know what a contraction feels like, what it's like to pack a bag for the hospital, to go to lamaze class, won't have pictures made, and likely will never give my son a sibling... will probably never know what it's like to deliver a healthy, full term baby and have the doctor place them on my chest while my husband looks on in disbelief and wonder. Nope. That's just not the cards I drew. I'm learning to accept it, in my own way, in my own time. But, I'll be honest. It's hard to stay positive some days, especially on social media, and on Sunday mornings. When I see my friends post their family photos of their four healthy children(that look like them no less,) their birth story pictures of their ten pounders, their freezers full of breast milk, and read their comments on how they came home after a twelve hour stay that can only be described as a spa-cation rather than delivery....its hard to stay positive.
But, that being said, through the foggy haze of memories of what IS my birth story memories keep coming back that I can't help but share. Some, from my personal journal to Mason and some just straight from my memory, I hope to find some cheap therapy from sharing!